Eight years out

The online world has been a part of my life since I was a teenager.  My father had been one of the gearheads who joined Compuserve before it even had a GUI, just lines of scrolling text.  When I got out on my own, I wrote columns, learned new technologies and brought my words to the world.

On September 11th, 2001; I could do no different.  So today, seven years later, as I think back about that moment in my life, I thought I’d share the words I had on that day.  Unedited, typos and misinformation still right where they were, this was the Yahoo Groups post that I put together for my weekly column, Reality Checksum, when I finally made it back home that night. It is corny, flowery, and shows the inexperience of my writing not that long ago.

It is also my tribute.

I have gotten back to my life, walked away from a lot of what I saw, but I will never forget.

 

"The whole darn world is on fire, and my favorite TV show's not on."

A Special Edition of Reality Checksum

That line above is from a song by Billy Falcon called "Wonder
Years." He sings it as a quote from his young daughter as she
watched LA burn in the riots some years ago. She couldn't understand
why the streets were erupting in flame, why people had died, why –
just why.

Today, I felt that way.

I left my apartment today to go to a business meeting. It was a
great day, my first big deal with my new company, a sales colleague
from EMC was picking me up in Astoria to drive out to Jersey City to
the meeting. We were joking in the car and going over plans for the
meeting when I glanced back over my shoulder to see my world go up in
flames.

One of the Twin Towers was burning, smoke pouring from the upper
floors as I stared in disbelief. Shortly, as we listed to the news
radio with mouths dropped open, the other tower erupted in flame as
well. We listened as the radio told us that planes had caused the
damage, just ordinary planes – the same ones you and I would fly in
to get just about anywhere these days.

Then the shocking truth hit like a bulldozer, the planes had been
hijacked, the US was under terrorist attack, and it wasn't over. The
Pentagon was hit, Camp David, and another plane was taken down before
it could reach its intended target. We couldn't believe it as we
finally reached our destination directly across the river from ground
zero. We watched as the flames grew, consuming more of the buildings
every minute, but we weren't that concerned as these buildings were
supposed to survive such things (since the Empire State building was
hit by a bomber, the Twin Towers were supposed to be able to
withstand a similar accident).

We gave our apologies and condolences to the client we had come to
see – they had many clients in the Towers and cancelled the meeting.
And then we sat in the car and tried to figure out how to get back to
Queens when Manhattan was locked down. That's when we were struck
again.

I felt a rumble, as if a subway was running beneath the car, and
looked up to see one of the Towers fall from its heavenly perch down
to earth with a crashing roar.

For a full five minutes, two guys who are paid to talk for a living
couldn't say a word.

We began to move back toward the city, trying to just get home. Cell
phone services were out, too many transmitters had been in the Towers
and now didn't function. Luckily my wireless e-mail device was
working and I found out that my loved-ones and co-workers were safe.
Just as I was getting the last of my messages out, the second Tower
joined its sister and removed an epic landmark from the New York
Skyline forever.

We pulled over and tried to get to my company's offices in Hoboken,
NJ, but that office was evacuated. Finally, after much map
consultation, we found a route home and took the long ride back to
our abodes.

Now I'm watching television, every channel screams at me about events
I witnessed first-hand. By the grace of whatever higher-power you
subscribe to I was not at ground-zero, but the shockwaves of that
explosion racked me still.

Why? What did this gain whatever group is too cowardly to announce
itself? What could this group of cold-blooded murderers ever hope to
accomplish with these violent, senseless acts? This was not a
military target, this was not a governmental target, this was a
civilian building. Yes, it represents the financial might of the
world, and many would say that capitalism is bad, but does this give
anyone the right to kill tens of thousands of innocent people?
I hope we do not go out and bomb the crap out of some small country
in retribution – that would make us as bad as them. I hope we find
the masterminds, the people who figured out how to do this but didn't
want to get on the planes themselves. I hope we hunt down everyone
responsible for this travesty and haul each of them before the World
Court. I am a peaceful man, but not a pacifist, so if America needs
a death to satisfy our vengeance, then let them be executed by the
order of that court – but first let them be used to send a message to
the entire world.

Let the trial show the world that their plight was invalid, that
their fight was unjust. Let it show everyone that these animals are
nothing more than cold-blooded murderers with no higher purpose than
to kill as many people as they can to bring attention to
their "cause". Let each of them and their "causes" be discredited on
the Global Stage, never again to be given respect, to be allowed to
grow to this dangerous level, to flow into a grievous act like this.
And when all is said and done, let us show the world what we have
shown them time and time again. No matter what you do to us, how
many you kill, how much you destroy, how far you take your "cause" on
the Global Stage; you will never kill the indomitable spirit that
burns in the heart of every American. We have survived flood, fire,
disaster, war, corruption, and even a Civil War that tore our very
heart in two – but every time we came back, stronger than before,
ready to meet any challenge put to us again and again. You have not
won the day, you faceless, nameless cowards; you have done nothing
but rallied all of America to come crashing down upon you with all
the force of our Spirit. You will be found, you will be brought to
justice, and you will find out that no one tramples the American
Will – no matter how hard they try.

Now, let us begin to heal. Let us rebuild the Towers, the Pentagon,
our lives. Mourn those we have lost to this tragedy, respect their
memories by going on and living life to the fullest every day. Talk
to your children, explain what happened as best you can to their
young minds. We have to shape the future through them, and lead them
into a world of their own American Spirit, so that they may face the
challenges their world will put to them.

This morning, I saw firsthand my world crashing down – literally.
But brighter than the fires that burn in downtown Manhattan burns
another fire. It burns in my heart, and yours, and the hearts of
every free man and woman and child in the entire world. It is the
flame born of our outrage, our pain, our morning, our shock; but it
is beyond this. The flame that burns within our hearts will fire the
forges that will rebuild not just New York and Washington DC, but
will rebuild our world to heal this rift torn by violence.

My deepest condolences to all those who lost loved ones to this
tragedy. Let us morn their passing in the very greatest possible
way – live life, live on, and in our hearts, our mind, and our deeds,
let us remember them well.

And for those who have young children who cannot understand why they
were sent home or what is happening in their world, another song may
bring some solace to your troubled parental hearts:

"Little child,
dry your crying eyes,
how can I explain the fear you feel inside?
Cause you were born into this evil world,
where man is killing man and no one knows just why.
What we have become?
Just look what we have done.
All that we destroyed you must build again."
- White Lion, "When the Children Cry"

Let us begin to build again.

 

in necessariis unitas, in dubiis libertas, in omnibus caritas
Mike Talon

September 11, 2009

New York City